it should be painfully evident from the title of tonight's rant that i've been unfaithful to my diet and nutritionist. i was too nervous and nauseous to eat so i blew off lunch until it was too late. i got a huge craving for pasta. and where can one get pasta quickly when one's husband doesn't want anything even remotely pasta-esque? the mall, of course. north star mall food court was the scene of my crime tonight. i had lasagne and pizza and a coke. i tried to have some kind of pink pasta but it was like noodles and spackle so i tossed it. i ate like a wolf. wolf wolf wolf. wolfen like zeal. damn. i had no shame, either, til now. now i'm wishing i had eaten a whole mess of fruit instead but regret is a feeling i am most familiar with. i've been pretty good so as long as i keep that "goodness" about me and remember to eat the way i'm supposed to, i'll not have too many more moments like tonight's.
so why the nerves+nausea? tomorrow's my endoscopy. and after working at primarily primates and listening to the vet and hearing how dangerous anesthesia can be and how the hardest part is waking the patient up is, i'm scared shitless. i haven't had anesthesia since i was 17 having my tonsils taken out. what if i don't wake up? please make sure daisy sniffs my body if i die. i want to be cremated and have my ashes spread at port aransas (be sneaky because it's illegal).
on that note, i shall go. i have but 1 hour and 45 minutes left to eat or drink anything until tomorrow afternoon. i need a vitamin water.
wish me luck!
m
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