One Bite at a Time

i didn't post anything yesterday.

there was not much to say. but i did manage to eat like a "normal" person and not some wolf-dyson hybrid. i chewed each bite very thoroughly, avoided drinking fluids 30 minutes prior to (and during) mealtime, ate mostly lean meats (chicken chicken chicken), and put my fork down while i chewed.
not today.

today, wolfie was back with a vengeance. apparently, i upset the wolf within and practically inhaled my food. both lunch and dinner. no breakfast is the cause of my speed-lunch and waiting til 8PM tonight to eat dinner was the cause of my speed-dinner. why why WHY does that make such a big damn difference? i can NOT control it! what the HELL?!? i know i'm not starving. i know i'm not going to whither away to nothing if i don't eat this so fast i can't even taste it, but i do it anyway! it's annoying! yesterday, i didn't even finish my food at dinner. today, don was barely starting his burger and my dinner was done. and i'm STILL hungry!

ridiculous.

i cannot wait til i can finally meet with dr. c so we can nail down this issue and make it stop. i know waiting til 8PM to eat dinner was a stupid thing to do, but i fell asleep when i came home and didn't wake up til 7:40. i couldn't help it. sometimes, nothing but a nap will do.

i know that eating with wolfen-like zeal is not normal. i've watched don go an entire day without eating and still take small to normal bites of whatever side of beef he decided to dine on and still eat slowly. why can't i do that? i know i've got to stop this because i will get violently ill if i eat that quickly after the procedure. ah well...one day, one meal, one bite at a time.

pax,
margo