Yesterday and Today

so i met with my surgeon yesterday. wow. talk about a system! these guys have it down to a science. i was only in the waiting room for a couple of minutes (unlike the countless hours spent waiting to see my pcp, andy) when they called me in for vitals. no room at the inn so i went back out in to the waiting room again. 2 minutes and then it was back in to our own room. dr. c came in for about 5 minutes and explained the whole process to me and what my insurance would pay so there would be no surprises. he then announced he had an emergency and i would be having an ekg before i left.
i was also introduced to crystal, my lapband/insurance advocate. she further explained the process to me and told me that my insurance company requires me to visit a nutritionist for 6 months before they will approve my surgery. 6 months. but oh "you don't have to lose weight or anything, they just want you to see her!" nice. and not cheap. 150 for the first visit, payable asap and 75 for every one on one consultation after that or i can choose the group therapy plan, scheduled at her convenience, for 50. ridiculous. my insurance company is retarded but at least they will cover me. so i also have to go in for an endoscopy on the 4th and i need a ride home from the hospital. any takers?
i left a little disappointed that it'd be at least another 7 months but if i've gone this long...


so today we mediated with yoda and another rat bastard insurance company and their trained lap dog (corporate attorney) and since i've not yet signed any confidentiality notice or disclosure, this is what happened:
on May 21, i went to kfc on san pedro, owned and operated by r&l foods. i ate a piece of chicken that was mushy (one bite and it went into the trash) and took one bite of macaroni that was just inedible. i decided to skip dinner after that. don ate like a horse and his food was fine. at 4AM i woke up with the worst heartburn and had some milk and some water. at 5AM i woke up vomiting and with the runs. at 6AM i woke up with vomiting and the runs. at 6:30AM i woke up and took a shower for work and had more vomiting and runs and serious cramping so i opted out of work. from that point, i was running to the bathroom every 20 minutes for one reason or another. by 10AM i was exhausted and burning up. don was home from work with a doctor's note for gout. i laid naked on my bed with every fan in the house blowing on me, trying to get some rest. every 20 minutes i suffered a full-blown exorcism that was just never ending. at about 3PM, don went to valero to get me a gatorade and pepto bismol...which was a complete waste of time and money. i couldn't even keep water in. at about 5PM the joints in my fingers started to freeze from dehydration; my exorcisms were still every 20 minutes, non-stop. by 7PM, the exhaustion was so bad that everytime i threw up, i would urinate on myself. at 8PM i was running back to my bathroom and my knees just stopped working and i collapsed. when i hit the ground, some more beautiful bodily fluids just leaked out of every possible place just as my new husband of 3 months came limping to my aid. i was humiliated. utterly and totally humiliated. (you should know that from about 3PM on, everything that was being exorcised out of me looked like pure water so it wasn't visually disturbing but still gross and humiliating). every movement i made to try and get up caused further expulsion. leakage. whatever. there i was, naked, sweating, shaking, exhausted, ready to die and desperately needing to use my bathroom but unable to get up, even with don's help. by the sheer grace of god, we managed to get me up and into the bathroom and cleaned up, despite fingers being frozen from dehydration. i was at my lowest point ever. i told him to get me to a hospital so he called my mom. she told him to take me to an e.r. if that's what i needed. he called my paramedic brother in law who suggested the same. don can't drive and in as much pain as he was in, he could barely walk. he called his mom and sister and (now ex) brother in law who drove right over and took me to ne baptist hospital. i was freezing and sweating at the same time and according to my mother in law my skin felt like ice. i spent about 20 minutes in the er before going to icu where they told us my blood pressure was unreadable, they couldn't find a pulse and my body temperature was 91F. i was dying and in shock. rather than test me for anything despite what don told them i ate, they just treated the problems. oh and they called the police and accused don of poisoning me. i stayed in the hospital for one full week thereafter as i also suffered renal failure and my kidneys had begun producing some enzyme that was eating my muscles. i was dying. they told don that if he had waited any further on bringing me in i would not have made it through the night. once i finally got back to work i had to give up a great job that i just got because i could no longer climb the numerous flights of stairs needed for that job (leasing agent). i eventually got called in and told to stay home until my doctor would fully release me. i had to resign because i needed income. today i finally closed the chapter on that part of my life. we met with the mediator who is a great guy and laid it all out for us. he, like my attorney yoda, used to defend big business insurance companies but decided to make his own mark in the world as a pi attorney. he and yoda explained that because the hospital never tested me specifically for e.coli and because i never saved the stupid piece of chicken, i had no proof. i knew that. i knew i had a circumstantial case at best and was hoping for mercy but there is no mercy in a red state for the working class. i was told that if, by some miracle i went to trial and won, they would surely appeal and i would most certainly lose the appeal because the appellate court is presided by 2 red judges and one blue judge and the reds will always vote for big business so i would lose the whole lot. i had to settle. ben's first offer was 65K. they countered with 5K. don was furious - i could see it in his eyes. mediator said based on what he'd heard he could get us 20K so we accepted. after yoda's share and fees for court costs, fees for mediation, etc. i should get 11 or 12K in about a week.
the moral of the story is not what you would expect:
if you're a democrat, get your ass out there and vote! this act of food terrorism is completely random and could happen to you or your kids or your grandparents or anyone! unless we vote for the dems to get the red out, it will not get any better for any of us. VOTE!