well, old number 7 had to be retired. the jeans that i hadn't been able to wear since i met my hubby are now too big. just too big. i swear i could fit a watermelon in the crotch and thighs! so this weekend, me, hubby and deer friend bo went on a marathon shopping spree to try and clothe the incredible shrinking woman...in skinny jeans.
a 42 year old 300 lb person wearing skinny jeans? no flippin' way. that was my thought exactly when these first appeared in town. until i tried them on. wow. my ass looks amazing! seriously! and the muscles in my thighs look insane! which begs the question: should we call them skinny jeans or curvy jeans?
skinny jeans are for skinny, emo kids who have zero body fat. curvy jeans are for women (not girls) who have hips, thighs, and asses. i will no longer refer to my jeans as "skinny" - from this point forward, they will be CURVY jeans. i urge all WOMEN who wear them to call them that...except paris hilton...she's just as emaciated as those emo kids.
have a good night, y'all!
m
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes
i'm still shrinking but i haven't stepped on a scale since the last surgeon's appointment so i don't know what the number is.
but i will say this - the jeans, old number 7, that i took too long to try on are now TOO BIG!
and i will add this - everyone told me my feet would shrink, too, and i took it with a grain of salt because, really, i don't think i have fat feet. but they were right! i love shoes and because i love shoes, i feel the need to own as many as i can! but when i blew up, i could no longer wear my sky-high heels so they sat in their specially labeled boxes, squirreled away in my closet. i wore crocs and flip-flops and tennis shoes because i was too heavy to walk on the balls of my feet and my feet were too fat to fit into my beautiful shoes (but i was in denial about that). plus the depression kept me from wanting to make myself pretty so i dressed like a shlub and shlubs don't wear pretty shoes, they wear crocs and flip-flops (exclusively).
UNTIL TODAY!
i was just playing in my closet and decided to try on the contents of the canvas boxes and lo and behold - THEY ALL FIT! and not only do they all fit, they all fit like they were made for me! they fit better now than they did when i bought them! except one pair - one pair of pointy, shiny black pumps with opalescent glitter swishes all over are way too big now. i suspected that would happen because they've always been big but now they're HUGE! if you all know of any really tall drag queens who might like them, let me know. i seriously only wore them twice. if i could find something to put between me and the heel of the shoe i could keep them but i think that'd be grossly uncomfortable and not very pretty. or practical.
one of these days i'll take pictures of my closet filled with shoes.
so i don't want to, but i'm forced to go shopping this weekend for underpants and jeans. the underpants i bought 4 months ago are now so big i feel like i'm wearing those clown pants that have the hula-hoop waistband. and i'm fresh out of jeans. all 7 pair are just too big and that's a great feeling! i just hope i can find some on sale!
have a great night!
pax,
margo
but i will say this - the jeans, old number 7, that i took too long to try on are now TOO BIG!
and i will add this - everyone told me my feet would shrink, too, and i took it with a grain of salt because, really, i don't think i have fat feet. but they were right! i love shoes and because i love shoes, i feel the need to own as many as i can! but when i blew up, i could no longer wear my sky-high heels so they sat in their specially labeled boxes, squirreled away in my closet. i wore crocs and flip-flops and tennis shoes because i was too heavy to walk on the balls of my feet and my feet were too fat to fit into my beautiful shoes (but i was in denial about that). plus the depression kept me from wanting to make myself pretty so i dressed like a shlub and shlubs don't wear pretty shoes, they wear crocs and flip-flops (exclusively).
UNTIL TODAY!
i was just playing in my closet and decided to try on the contents of the canvas boxes and lo and behold - THEY ALL FIT! and not only do they all fit, they all fit like they were made for me! they fit better now than they did when i bought them! except one pair - one pair of pointy, shiny black pumps with opalescent glitter swishes all over are way too big now. i suspected that would happen because they've always been big but now they're HUGE! if you all know of any really tall drag queens who might like them, let me know. i seriously only wore them twice. if i could find something to put between me and the heel of the shoe i could keep them but i think that'd be grossly uncomfortable and not very pretty. or practical.
one of these days i'll take pictures of my closet filled with shoes.
so i don't want to, but i'm forced to go shopping this weekend for underpants and jeans. the underpants i bought 4 months ago are now so big i feel like i'm wearing those clown pants that have the hula-hoop waistband. and i'm fresh out of jeans. all 7 pair are just too big and that's a great feeling! i just hope i can find some on sale!
have a great night!
pax,
margo
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